This is prime real estate - what a shame to waste it 😉

Your Web3 Jargon Goes Here To Alienate And Confuse Your Unsophisticated Visitors

No seriously, please don’t do this like most other Web3 Websites

The use of industry jargon is not understood by new traffic.

This is the hypothetical


Don’t ape into this coin because it is vaporware. This whole website is a parody

Total Value Locked



Total Scammed


Total Locked


Rug Pulls

Pointless metrics that mean nothing.

Zero Point Energy In A Token

And if you think that sounds impossible, well it is.  If you know anything about physics Congratulations!  This website is a live demonstration of what not to do.

This term is confusing "Decentralizing".


Ape in with Reckless

Get your alpha on. All it takes is these three ingredients to massive crypto success…

This is a pointless headline and waste of space, which general consumers will not understand


No web3 project is complete without massive amounts of hyperbole

Techno Jargon

Every sentence needs at least one buzzword that llarmies won’t understand

Headquarters in Puerto Rico

Because the government doesn’t need any of my crypto winnings 😉

Instead of talking features and benefits that your visitors don’t actually care about, talk about the things they actually care about. What are the problems that are actually motivating them? Get in their world.

Fire Up The Protocols Inside

This button is misleading: It will take you to a place you’re not expecting


Created by Facebook & Mark Zuckerberg (or at least in their own minds)….


Decentralized finance is finance that isn’t central

This design style is overused on Web3 websites.

Play to Earn

Why work a job in the real world if you can work in an online world to earn worthless in-game tokens?

In Game Currency

The worthless tokens can be used to buy delicious in game meals


Non Fungible tokens.  In other words tokens that are not fungible

Dark background with white text is hard to read.

Democritizing Rug Pulls

A good sub head supports the headline above it and neither the sub head or headline here are worth a damn

Experts agree that unsubtantiated claims are the worst (maybe change this) transform and scalable

The word ' your' doesn't convert. Choose My Disaster would work better. And ghost buttons are terrible

Experts agree that unsubtantiated claims are the worst

The image may look cool but is not relevant to the copy.

Transform and Scalable Fusions

The illustrious panel of experts we surveyed at the latest undisclosed crypto converence all confirmed that our technology is the most important innovation in finance since the meeting at Jeckyl Island.

Meaningless icons don’t get clicked on

What exactly am I revolting against?

Our Latest Blog Posts on Medium

Don't send people to third party websites because it's a leakage point.

Visit our content on websites we don’t own and chances are you’ll never come back here.

Data Mining for fun and profit

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Blockchain Development TFTW

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Bitcoin Is Life

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Subscribe To Our Useless Newsletter

Nobody wants to submit. What's the value proposition here?

Our Simple 3 Step Process
or 3 Steps to Success

Every complex technology can be simplified down to 3 simple steps. Our vapourware technology is no exception.

Step 1

Invest In Our Vapourware

Step 2


SOUTHPARK FANS WE SALUTE YOU! Also this is a B.S, process that isn't going to compel anybody. Get into your prospect's shoes. What problems are they trying to solve.

Step 3